getting lost in translation

10th form students carry 1st formers around the school yard, as they ring bells signifying the end of the school year.

Lost in translation:
A few weeks  ago I was working on the following construction with one of my fifth form classes -  “Subject + (am/is/are) + going to + Verb”

Here are some of the gems my kids came up with:
“I going to like Miss Amanda.”
“I am football…. going to verb?”
“He are going to jump crocodile!”
“She is going to zoo Mena!”
(We have a zoo/menagerie in the nearby village of Mena)

but then:
“They are going to blow up.”
(We just finished the section on parties and holidays, and one verb was “to blow up”, meaning balloons.)
Once I parsed the meaning, I quickly amended the sentence to:
“They are going to blow up balloons.”

In my sixth form class, I asked students to make a list of supplies they would buy for a birthday party, given a budget of 100UAH (about $12.50).

Dima*: “For my birthday party I will buy apples from the green grocer’s, chips and ice cream from the supermarket [...] and blow.”
I paused.
“What was that last thing Dima?”
“Blow.” Seeing my puzzlement he gestured frantically. “Ну, как я могу объяснить?! Blow. Blow, yes? Шарик!” (“Um how can I explain?! [...] Balloon!”
“OH. Balloons.”
“Yes. Yes. Balloons. For my birthday party.”
(I was exceptionally relieved that he hadn’t somehow learned slang terms for drugs and utilized them for his homework.)

Teaching English as a foreign language (or TEFL) is most certainly a group learning experience. I (sincerely) hope my children are learning as much about my native tongue as I am – explaining the multitude of linguistic idiosyncrasies and slugging it out with English phonetics with 200+ Ukrainian students can oftentimes be challenging, but it is also often amusing (for all parties involved.)

An example of English phonetics wrecking havoc with sentence meaning:

Our unit topic (for 10th form) was Natural Disasters. The students had vocabulary like: tsunami, flood, tornado, earthquake, deluge, to overflow, to destroy, to flood, to evacuate. As part of a speaking activity I gave them disaster scenarios and asked them to outline proper emergency procedures for that scenario. (Actually, I just asked them to “give advice” – I’ve found through trial and error that it’s better to make directions simple.)

One of my brightest English students launched into her advice. She speaks well, and generally I am able to carry on writing on the board or circulating the room while she presents. On the day in question, however, I was stopped in my tracks, struck by momentary incomprehension.
“What was that Masha*? Once more, if you would.”
“We should assemble sheeps and evacuate.”
“Sheep?”
“Yes.” She nodded emphatically, smiling.
This was my first class of the day, and I hadn’t yet engaged my “lost in translation” drive – so, feeling puzzled, I asked her if she meant вівці, or ‘sheep’ in Ukrainian. Her eyes opened wide and she shook her head. (At this point, the whole class was staring at me, wondering, as I’m sure they often do, what on Earth I’m going on about.)
“No Miss Amanda, not вівці. Sheeps. Sheeps.”
That was when I had my ah-ha moment.
“Ships!” I cried, triumphantly.
“Ah yes. Ships.” Masha agreed.

Other fun phonetic slip-n-slides I’ve encountered my classes, which have resulted in hilarity:
ghost/guest
live/live (adjective vs. verb)
pupil/people

Of course, I can’t in good consciousness comment upon my student’s linguistic missteps without admitting that I make a fair amount myself on a day-to-day basis. For example, yesterday I asked for 2 kilograms of муха (flies), instead of мука (flour, Rus.). I was saved by switching to Ukrainian and laughingly clarifying that I meant борошно (flour, Ukr.)

* Note: all student names in my blog have been changed.